About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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