I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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