yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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