Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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