When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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