I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
