Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
