Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
