Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
