When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
