Just fell off a train. Bad.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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