Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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