do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
