I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
