i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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