Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
