she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
