Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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