he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
