It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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