Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
