Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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