I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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