dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
