she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
