Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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