too bad you live with your parents still
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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