yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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