I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
