Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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