So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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