Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
