OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
