I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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