note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he was CRYING into my vagina
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
