i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I need help removing her.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
