just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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