So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am naked and annoyed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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