Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
