Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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