Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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