i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
