whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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