Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
