we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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