Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
