Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
