i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
