Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
