I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
